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Social Media Bafflings

16 Jan

Social Media Bafflings

Do you ever skim your social media news feeds and find yourself scratching your head? You think to yourself, “why in the world did this dumb f*ck post this?” Or “he calls himself a social media expert? Really?” Or “yes, I do think having a social network for my cat would be beneficial – said no one ever.” I’m sure many of you stumble across the most baffling scenarios ever. I’d like to share a few of mine. Like…

  • WTF is with all these #selfie pics? Don’t you see enough of yourself in the mirror? I understand the unique photo opp in front of a beautiful scenery but every single day? Have you no shame?
  • The never-ending 10-sentence Facebook status that goes on and on about what that person did today including her thoughts and feelings on the day’s recap of “exhilarating” events like waking up 45 minutes late but making it to work on time despite waking up 45 minutes late and still looking damn good and squeezing in that gym sesh because she’s a real gym rat and she’s gotta make sure the entire world knows it and proceeding the gym with a disgusting looking homemade meal for her and her 30th boyfriend whom she swears is “the one” this time and we all know there will be another “the one” and concluding her night by watching Wheel of Fortune while snuggling with her dog Fluffy and cat Mr. Bojangles and taking a #selfie to try and break a record for number of “likes” and comments.
  • Brands that don’t engage or respond.
  • Brands that delete negative consumer posts.
  • The fact that the ugly and incorrect long ass URLs pasted into a Facebook post or tweet (instead of deleting it after it attaches),  statistically speaking, receives more click-thru rates.
  • People thinking social media agencies should charge their clients half the price a PR agency charges.
  • How does a video of a dog chasing an orange receive over 2.5 million YouTube views within a week? My dog could do that too. Yours ain’t that special.
  • People and brands buying Facebook fans, Twitter followers, YouTube views, etc. Maybe real people don’t want to follow you because you are not interesting or of value? Yet, you continue to ignore this fact and try and trick your prospective followers into thinking you’re someone cooler than you actually are.
  • Posting illegal shit on your social media. Don’t cry when you get locked up.
  • Social media lurkers. Of course social media is about sharing and learning about people up-close-and-personal, but do you have to comment or respond to every single little thing of every single person you’re following? Do you really have that much time on your hands? Stop trying to kiss ass. Instead, engage when it’s relevant. People can see right through you.
  • How do all these free sites with no advertising make money?
  • If you’re a restaurant, why aren’t you posting pictures of your food, daily specials, customer’s Instagram photos, recipes, ingredients, events, etc? You have fresh new content every single day. If you need some help with this, contact me.

And finally…

  • Did Priscilla Chan marry Mark Zuckerberg for love, money, or status? 

The end. Please share what baffles you!

New York-Bound and Clueless

19 Nov

It’s been roughly 8 to 9 years since I last visited New York City. Yes, I was a foolish 13-year old high school student on a class trip (I don’t even remember why Indianola High School even conducted this trip). We did every tourist trip imaginable alongside my fellow foolish classmates (remember how boys acted when they were 13? Yeah… Pity me please). We went to the top of the Empire State Building, toured the United Nations, saw Beauty and the Beast on Broadway, walked through Central Park, yada yada yada…

Now that I’m “all grown up” (ehem legal drinking age), I’m STOKED to be visiting NYC for the next 7 days over Thanksgiving (thanks to my girl, @jtangerine02 for letting me stay)!

Dear “concrete jungle where dreams are made of ” –

Where should I go???

I need recommendations from all of you who have lived in or traveled to The Big Apple! Things like…

  • Where to eat
  • Where to drink
  • Where to party
  • Where to shop
  • Where to spend a few hours working online (free WIFI please)
  • What to see
  • What to experience
  • What to bring
  • Which parts of NYC I should spend my time in (ie – Brooklyn, Chinatown, etc)
  • Did I overlook that you live in NYC, and should look you up when I get there?

Here’s a list of places/things that have already been recommended to me. Feel free to chime in if you agree/disagree:


  • DBGB in NYC (lunch)
  • The Dutch (dinner)
  • The Lion (dinner)
  • Pastise same owner as Balthazar
  • Fatty Q upper west side
  • La esquina
  • Brush Stroke (David Bouley) (dinner)
  • Nobu 57 (dinner)
  • The Smith (brunch)
  • Jane (brunch)

(thanks to @JamieDeRosa for the above recs)

  • Pig and Khao (thanks to Austin Haight)
  • Grey Dog Cafe
  • Union Square Market
  • Bahn Mi Saigon
  • The National

(thanks to @MarisaScime for the last 4)

Drink (thanks to @JamieDeRosa for all the below recs)

  • BDT
  • Double 7
  • Jay bird upper east side (grand opening)
  • Little Branch
  • Death and Company
  • Sien Fuegos (Rum Bar)
  • District 36 (like LIV)
  • PHD downtown Dream Hotel
  • One Oak
  • Lavo (also killer for brunch, off the charts party)

I’ll be staying in the East Village – heard awesome things!

Thanks in advance for your recommendations!

❤ Aub

Sailing the High Seas (literally) in the Pro-Am Volvo Ocean Race

23 May

What’s that one dream, goal, wish, or aspiration in your life?  Think hard… What’s tops your bucket list?

How about traveling the world?

That’s exactly what six teams are trying to accomplish in one of the most riveting, physically demanding, thrilling, and dangerous races in the world – the Volvo Ocean Race – and I was fortunate enough to get a first-hand experience at what they’re living and breathing for nine months!

This one-of-a-kind competition stops at only 10 ports worldwide, and Miami was lucky enough to host the only North American stopover for a two-week duration. What’s even luckier is the fact that I won a Facebook contest held by the Greater Miami Conventions and Visitors Bureau which landed me a spot to sail with French team Groupama in the Pro-Am race on May 18, 2012.

This incredible experience is hard to describe in words so I’d like to use a couple analogies… This is like swimming laps with Michael Phelps, or shooting hoops with Lebron James, or singing karaoke with Rihanna.  These guys (yes, male-only teams) are facing extreme weather conditions, crossing the equator four times, and living on a boat for nearly 40,000 miles in the deep ocean waters. Only the great survive. And only the best are crowned champions.

I had the pleasure of competing on French team Groupama with about ten other male guests (I was the only female) in Pro-Am Race 3 against Abu Dhabi, Puma, Camper/Emirates NZ, Telefonica, and Sanya. The race course was set up just off the coast of South Beach, and the race lasted for about 30 minutes. Weaving around each other, and jibing back and forth, these gentle giants powered through the pristine Caribbean waters in hopes of  earning points for their team. Remember that scene in Titanic where Jack and Rose stand on the ledge of the bow with their arms in the air as if they’re flying – that’s what sailing with Groupama felt like.  But the actual sailing wasn’t the only “wow” factor. It was also getting to meet these superstar sailors and learning the ins and outs of operating a sail boat (remember – this is the equivalent of getting free throw pointers from Lebron James)! I was also fortunate enough to get a personal tour underneath the deck from media crew member Yann Riou. He showed me where they “sleep,” eat, produce videos, and even the mechanical parts of the boat. Mind blown (and lost). Only about six guys can sleep at one time in their tiny little cots. The loud rumblings are sure to put a permanent ringing in their ears. And they have zero privacy. If you’re looking for heroes or idols to look up to – these are your guys!

I won’t bore you with any additional attempts to try to get you to understand and feel what it was like racing with these superstars. I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves… You can also view all my photos on Facebook. There’s also a short, candid interview with Yann at the bottom of this post – be sure to check it out! Questions? Comments? Leave ’em at the bottom 🙂

Career Fairs: The Good, The Bad, The….Huh?!

20 Sep

It’s mid-September… The beginning of Fall… You know what that means – college football, pro football, Octoberfest, Halloween, Iron Fork (S FL residents), Thanksgiving, cooler weather, etc…etc… It also means recruiting season for companies everywhere! Career fairs, school/organization networking events, tours, interviews, resume critiques, presentations, and lots more! Now that I’ve been on both sides (eager job-seeking students and employer), I’d like to highlight some of the things that are associated with career fairs and share with you the good, the bad, and the things that make you say “what the…”

Employer side

The good:

  • Meeting new people – students, other employers, the awesome career center staff
  • Getting to gloat about my awesome job and amazing company – Kaufman, Rossin & Co.
  • Learning about students and their accomplishments – it’s awesome to find out where they’re from, what they’re studying, where they’ve worked, what organizations they’re involved in, what their talents are, and why they’re interested in our company
  • Traveling!
  • Change of scenery – out and about, away from my desk 🙂
  • Getting to know my coworkers better (spending 3-6 hours together at a booth definitely qualifies as quality time)
  • Collecting tons of giveaways and goodies

The bad:

  • Awkward handshakes
  • Lots of germs
  • Aching feet (heels are the devil)
  • The two extremes – cocky, “entitled” students v. too quiet, confused students
  • Unprepared students – do your homework, kids!
  • Always being “on” – it gets tiring after 5 career fairs
  • Not being able to give every student an interview

The “what the…”

  • Outfits (ehem, skirts) that make me question if we’re at a career fair or a club in South Beach
  • Improper hygiene
  • Those who grab giveaways just because they’re free and don’t even have a conversation

Student side

The good:

  • The great opportunity to meet the people you hope to work with someday
  • Getting to know companies more in-depth
  • Face time with HR directors and recruiters
  • The potential to land your future career
  • Practicing skills needed for interviews, networking, and the real world in general
  • Dressing up and showing off to your lazy classmates who choose not to attend the career fair
  • Exemplifying to your professors that you’re serious about your career
  • Receiving resume critiques

The bad:

  • Depending on your school, having to choose between attending class or the career fair
  • It’s still hot in South Florida… Which means you’re trucking from class/dorm/home in the humid hot heat to the location of the career fair = sweaty mess
  • Trying to find that “perfect” suit
  • Saying the same thing over and over to all the companies you’re interested in
  • Awkward conversations
  • Nervousness – it’s very nerve-racking!
  • Not landing a follow-up interview

The huh…!?

  • Falling (in front of the line to check into the career fair, in the career fair, in front of your hopeful future employer)
  • Stuttering
  • Losing your train of thought
  • Awkwardly waiting in line to speak to an individual employer while his/her coworkers have zero students to talk to (the favorites game – aka: I need to speak with this person because he/she is more important and makes the hiring decisions)
  • Being dismissed by rude employers
  • Any embarrassing moment – food stuck in teeth, sneezing, hiccups, etc.

What are your favorite and worst parts of career fairs? I’d love to hear from employers and students alike!

Disclosure: This blog post is written based on my own observations, own opinions, and own humor 🙂 Not to be mistaken by opinions of my employer, coworkers, schools, or anyone/thing inbetween. Enjoy!

#PetPeeve…What’s Yours?

23 May

Wikipedia defines a pet peeve as the following:

A pet peeve (or pet hate) is a minor annoyance that an individual identifies as particularly annoying to him or her, to a greater degree than others may find it.

Today I realized I have quite a few pet peeves. Now I shall enlighten you as to what those are… Oh, and I’ve included my own commentary on each one. Enjoy 🙂

  • Miami drivers. You’re all crazy!
  • [Miami] drivers who don’t understand what that lever to the left of their steering wheel is…Hey, guess what! It’s called a “turn signal” or a “blinker.”
  • [Miami] drivers who insist on driving in the left lane and making me pass on the right! Left = fast, right = slow. Did you guys not have driver’s ed???
  • Runners/walkers/bikers who also don’t follow the above bullet point. We are in the USA, not the UK or Australia.
  • When I spend valuable time cleaning and organizing and 10 minutes later someone screws it all up. F you!
  • Flaky people. Why make plans in the first place?
  • Anything and everything my current roommate does (hope she doesn’t read this…)
  • When people who speak both English and a foreign language engage in a foreign language conversation right in front of you, knowing you only speak English. Stop talking about me biatch!
  • People on power trips. Get over yourself.
  • People who ask dumb questions. Are you effing kidding me!?!
  • People who flash their money around and take their blessings for granted. I was raised on a farm – I know the meaning of hard work and the meaning of a $1.
  • The politics of life. Why can’t life be simple?
  • Shitty customer service. I’ve been a waitress, it’s not that hard to split checks – stop making lame excuses!
  • Kids who jump off the diving board when they know they can’t swim. I used to be a lifeguard. I mean… This seems like common sense. Can’t swim = don’t go in 10ft. deep water… Just sayin…
  • Line skippers. Wait your turn like the rest of us, asshole!
  • Slow computers. Ugh! I have work to do!
  • Liars. I can see right through you.
  • Whiners and complainers. Shut your pie hole ’cause I don’t want to hear it (unless you’re my good friend, of course 🙂 )
  • Catty estrogen females. Take yo drama to yo mama.
  • People constantly bumping into me at a show. I know I’m 5’1″ but yes, I do exist, and yes, I’m standing here.
  • Restaurants that run out of menu items. You’re a restaurant – do some better forecasting! If you know sweet potatoes are popular and you always run out, order more! Duh!
  • Ex-boyfriends. Can’t you just stay out of my life for good?
  • Guys who play games. Stop saying you don’t play them, ’cause you do! And it’s very annoying.
  • People who can’t carry on a conversation. If I wanted to have a one-sided conversation, I’d talk to the wall. Please, enlighten me.
  • Overly competitive people. It’s just a game.
  • People who don’t flush. Step 1) Place finger or foot on button/handle/lever, Step 2) Push down.
  • People who pee on the toilet seat. WTF?! EW!
  • People who knock it before they try it. You don’t have a valid opinion unless you’ve actually experienced ___ first-hand!
  • When people step on the back of my shoe. Either slow the eff down or walk around me, but don’t step on me! It hurts and you’re ruining my shoe.
  • When people are bitchy to your face and act like everything is okay the next time they see you.  No, I have not forgotten that you’re a rude b*tch.
  • People with no manners. There is such a thing as “please” and “thank you”. Now that I’ve taught you this, you’re welcome. See how this works now?
  • People who don’t clean up after their dog. Carry a plastic bag and pick up the poop so pedestrians don’t have to walk facing down watching out for dog crap, and so we don’t step in it and smell like $h*t for the rest of the day (literally).
  • Not receiving my Twitter mentions via my Hootsuite android app. I paid $2.99 (or something like that) for this app! I want to see when people are tweeting @ me!
  • Lastly… This (see picture below). Enough said.

Now I know I said my blog would be more about social media and what not… So, to tie this into social media (and for shits ‘n giggles), I’m asking YOU to add your #petpeeve in a comment below this post. Then, kindly tweet it (if you have Twitter) and be sure to include @Aubrey_Swanson and #PetPeeve. I’m way too excited to see what ticks you off 🙂

What Kind of Irish Are You?

17 Mar

St. Patty's Day

St. Patty's Day

St. Patty's Day

St. Patty's Day

St. Patty's Day

St. Patty's Day

St. Patty's DaySt. Patty's Day 

Whichever kind of Irish you are… Please think of this…

St. Patty's Day

Happy St. Patty’s Day!